We always knew that Charlie crawling would present new challenges for Philip in how he related to his baby brother. What I can now see is how Charlie is far from the innocent party any more and that as they sort this out it will lay the foundation for their close brotherly relationship. So after interfering too much the first day as cuddles turned to shoves, I'm trying to leave them to it a bit more now. One child moves onto playing with something else much quicker if it doesn't turn into a competition for mummy's attention!

Philip is progressing well with potty training, has begun recognising letters and connecting them with sounds (the English language is about to get a whole lot more confusing for both of us!) and in the last few days seems to have made a big leap in his social awareness. Whether just because he knows it pleases us, or whether genuine, he is now concerned that other people have a chance to have the same food as him, to get stickers as rewards etc. He also talks a lot about what is naughty and what is silly (and therefore funny) at the moment - which I think will take a long time to really figure out as sometimes it just depends on the context. He still tells me when he's going to be naughty which is quite cute but rather forces one into discipline as you can't give him the excuse he didn't understand!! In a way he's role playing "being a naughty boy" and may find out it has advantages in some situations :-)

Which brings me onto my recent observations of the toddler world. Occasionally at a toddler group I get to watch Philip interacting with his peers across the room. On a Friday there's a gang of them whose Mums spend too much time talking (in their opinion) and so they run round with a football for a bit at the end. Which is great. However, when I started out in this parenting thing I somehow have the impression that children are so sweet and innocent and that if you can teach them to be polite and share, they'll have lots of fun and lots of friends. But (in my sweet innocence) I am beginning to realise that the world of childhood interactions doesn't really work like that. If the Mums aren't watching (or are across the room) then in the short term the fastest, biggest or pushiest boy gets the football. That's life! I'm not going to condone it if Philip knows I'm watching but I think you've got to be realistic that different skills work for different situations and there's not much point shouting (which is very aggresive behaviour in itself) at a child for "playing the game" as he sees it. To a certain extent they've just got to work out their relationships themselves, like Philip and Charlie have to. Complicated stuff.

Off swimming with Charlie now.

Quick report that Charlie is now crawling forwards after a few weeks of going backwards. The night before last when Ed got in from work I mentioned C was being about as athletic as he could be without actually crawling forwards. Ed held his hands out and encouraged Charlie and he finally went forwards. Not too fast as yet. He also loves standing and holding onto things but isn't pulling himself up yet.

Yey, I finally have a childcare solution in place! After much searching, turning over options and getting nowhere, we've had to give up on the nursery for Charlie and find him a place at a childminders. There are pros as well as cons of this option anyway so it may turn out to be better. Philip will stay at the nursery for his 2 days a week for now as it's likely to be all change for him in September. But the pre-school doesn't tell us whether he's got a place until May /June! So it's back to work Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday's for me from June. Hopefully with a holiday in August, yet to be negotiated.

Charlie still not quite crawling. Kitchen still not decorated. Philip still not potty trained. But we are managing slowly to fight back the tide of chaos in the house so Charlie won't find so many important pieces of paper to eat when he does start moving. And everything's moving in the right direction.

Kiddie update - Charlie is just pushing through tooth no 4. The first 2 were the middle bottom ones as you'd expect but the next 2 aren't the opposing teeth on the top, there's a gap in the middle so far. He's also on the starting blocks for crawling which I seem to remember can go on for a while and then you suddenly realise they're half way up the stairs when you weren't watching. He can hold his bottom of the floor and go backwards when he's really keen to go forwards but then finds something else interesting there to play with so doesn't seem too frustrated unless he gets stuck.

Philip's incessant demand is "you read that story". He hasn't sussed that most people would define a story as a whole book - to him it seems to be each page that goes with a picture. Useful in one way as you can bring story reading to a close quicker. But the repeated refrain with each turn of the page can get a bit wearing. He is memorising whole chunks without 100% understanding what they mean and then plays bits out either repeating them as he settles for sleep or while playing with his trains to see if he can get them to make sense. Bits like Duncan crashing into the mine, or Mavis working at the quarry he doesn't really have the experiences to understand yet.

Over Easter we met up with lots of people who helped with the story reading marathon, and we visited lots of different places without staying away from home too much. Philip got a lot out of it all, and especially "helping" with some jobs at Gran and Grandfather's house and seems to have grown up loads. Since last summer we've noticed he gets unsettled when Ed goes back to work, he obviously gets a lot out of the attention 2 parents can give. But he probably needs time to process it all in between!

I've finally reached the point where I'm ready to organise a return to work. I popped into Arup to see what had changed (and what hadn't), thought about a couple of options and went to check with the nursery what days I could arrange. Bit of a blow, they're full in the baby room until October so a radically different Plan B is going to be required. I was thinking of moving Philip this September / Christmas anyway so it seems to make sense to change everything at once. But that depends on what pre-school place he can get which won't be clear until May or maybe June. So I'm still stuck with what ifs and maybes. I know it'll all be all right on the night, and I don't want to be too precious about my little darlings but I do find working out childcare choices very emotionally draining so it'll have to be done in little bits and is likely to take some time to find the right solution.

Phew - long post!

I've got interested in composting! Last weekend I picked up my father's copy of the Little Book of Composting and finally there's an explanation of some of the science behind it and suggestions I can understand of how to go about it (described in terms of hosting a good party for the organisms required). So what was an obsession of my fathers, is now an interest of mine. Now need to find time to dig out our old compost bin so we can get going with the new ideas.

When I was on a school residential once we played a game where you were given a word and you then pelted around the house looking at loads of lists to try and find that word on them. When you found it, you read off the corresponding word and set of hunting for that new one.

This morning I've been playing the grown up version. First, start with an object in the hall. Swimming kit needs hanging up. Down to the cellar, to discover there's no space until other dry washing has been moved...the washing would dry quicker if it could go infront of the radiator .... but the floor's so dirty it needs sweeping first .... upstairs for the dustpan and brush .... etc. It's nice to be able to follow these things through uninterupted while the kids are at nursery but I do get distracted into some bizarre things! Hey ho, time for a coffee break and to ring some more people about kiddie swimming lessons.

Me, my boys and a nice newly refurbished train station, what more could a girl want from a half term holiday? Philip's vocabulary now includes coupling rods, ballast and sleepers - poor lad! Thomas the Tank Engine has to take some of the blame too.

Philip was wide eyed with excitement on the train, the morning we took him on the underground (he know these trains say mindthegap) and when in Hamleys looking at the model railway layout. I enjoyed the science museum's play area with lots of water channels and boats and Charlie loved all the people watching.

Whilst on holiday, Charlie took to waking up screaming at 12pm and not wanting to feed. Bit concerning and not too pleasant. The week after 2 little bottom teeth arrived so we're inclined to let him off. Another exciting milestone.

Charlie began having 3 mornings a week in nursery last week, leaving me free to get a few things finished and get myself and the house in a fit state to consider going back to work. This is obviously going to take a while! On the Monday I was quite disciplined and did a few useful jobs, on the Tuesday I sat down and read a book. Plans for this week include some kitchen painting, we'll see. Charlie is finding a bit difficult to settle into nursery, but they're able to distract him when he's upset so we're fairly confident he'll get there. It must be all a bit strange at first, although Philip seemed to settle very quickly.

Charlie's latest trick is banging 2 cups together - he loves it and it keeps him entertained for ages. He had a bit of a grizzly day today due to a nasty cough but otherwise is doing great.

Philip was better from his latest bug by the weekend and has managed his 2 days at nursery, trying a new playgroup, his swimming lesson and a toddler group. After all that he seems to be catching up on sleep a bit. He's really coming on with his swimming from a very underconfident time 6 months ago when he wouldn't really get in the water and is now all giggles as we splash about. With his "number suit" (buoyancy jacket which has numbers inside to tell you in which order to take out the floats) he can float about on his own and is beginning to get the idea of propelling himself a bit with his legs.

He's still loving spotting numbers and encouraged by a tell the time with Thomas book can make the 'o clocks. Am not sure how much to encourage this as I don't really want him to know when In the Night Garden is on the telly! Counting is a big game where he knows the numbers in sequence so if he knows how many items there are he can do a reasonable attempt at counting to about 4 or 5 (whereafter he runs out of concentration). However this evening he was counting out fistfulls of books - 1, 2, 3, 4 , 5, 6. "There, 2 books" he annouces having moved about 20 onto his bed! He's so cute when we do the nighttime songs screwing up his eyes tight and joining in with the words in his childish voice.

Me, I'm just beginning to get restless at all this being around the house. Time to start taxing my brain a bit more. First target is to start moving the kitchen forward again (still got bare plaster walls) and then I've got some professional exams to take (again). Urgh.

This week I discovered why beetroot isn't high on people's list of weaning foods - red stuff everywhere! Should have taken a photo but decided in the end I'd better minimise the damage and clean up. Charlie enjoys experimenting with bits of finger food like rice cakes so we're having some wonderfully messy mealtimes at the moment.

Another bug in the household with Philip running a temperature. Seem to remember last January was like this. At least I'm not trying to juggle work as well this year.

Inspired by other peoples New Year resolutions and relieved by a bit more sleep, I'll try and get some more frequent postings on here. And hopefully some photos soon too (when I've cut Philip's hair!)

Charlie continues to be sunny and relaxed - how long can it last? He's sitting up pretty well now usually clonking down only if he tries to turn his head too fast to watch someone walking past or if he tries to overreach forwards. He grew up so much over the Christmas break it was incredible. No small baby anymore. He was 6 months on Saturday so I feel I can start to broaden his range of food and he tasted his first teeny tiny bit of meat. I've got a baby mincer called a Baby Dan foodmill which is a lovely gadget (if a bit unnecessary as all the best gadgets should be) and worked well on helping me mush up small amounts of left over veg.

Philip wasn't too well last week and so missed nursery on Tuesday, slept a lot and got through plenty of calpol. Thought he was better Thursday and let him skip his lunchtime nap - won't be doing that again in a hurry. He was completely overtired and just yelling. Now he's so much bigger it's difficult to find a place to keep him safe while he calms down. Eventually Ed put him in the buggy and he yelled himself to sleep. He's now stringing sentences together into jumbly stories and has quite a long memory. More difficult to fool! When I took him down to NCT on Thursday he remembered it was the same place where the "scary man" (santa) was over a month ago and started yelling and took ages to settle in.